I have had my eyes on this book for AGES. I was a bit deterred from it when I heard from book bloggers that it was about child abuse/abuse, I generally tend to stay away from books like that because NOPE. But then this book came out in Dutch in my country.. and I just had to give it a shot. I just wanted to read it. And I am thankful I did. It wasn’t easy. At times I just wanted to run and puke and NOPE the fuck out, but I kept reading, because HO BOY this was wonderfully written.
Meet Sadie, a girl who comes from a home that isn’t the best. A junkie/drunk mum (who leaves), a small trailer, barely any chances in life to get out of this this, oh and the boyfriends of said junkie mom including one of the worst and terrible guys in the world. After her sister got murdered (and the police just sucked at doing their work) she is determined to get the murderer and murder him. She knows who he is. He has ruined her life when he was there when she was a kid. She has scores to settle. I loved Sadie. Yes, she made some bad decisions, but I found myself rooting for this girl. This girl that has gone through WAY too much in her life. Way too much fear and having to grow up way too fast. It was great seeing her try to figure out where Keith was, sometimes the information she got was easy, other times she had to think and use her wits. Who he is now. We see her travel through cities and states. We see her meet people who are rich and people who are like her.
There are lots of shocking twists and turns as the story continues. Not just on Keith, but on many other people Sadie meets in her life. And we also get some revelations on Sadie (and one had me gasping as now the journey made even MORE sense, now I could understand her determination EVEN more. Her reasons were already clear, but apparently there was more).
The podcast parts were SO GOOD to read. I really enjoyed it though at times I had to go back as I didn’t realise someone else was speaking. But in general, I found myself looking forward to these parts, see people try to find Sadie.. but also see them realise that things were really bad. See that the spiderweb they thought was just a small one extends and has some gruesome, horrible details. The podcasts gave us some more information on Sadie’s journey, on what she is doing, but also on other things. Plus, I loved seeing the story about her past, or about her journey, be told by people she met or her family.
The ending is one that allows you to make your own decision about. It does point to one way, so for me I am just going with x, though my mind is just hoping it is actually y. That is all I will say.
This book was a rollercoaster and it took me on a ride! I am still shocked by what I read. It was still horrific. But also fantastic and the author really wrote everything so well. I would recommend it.