“Um… are we… trespassing? Is that what’s happening right now?” I ask, glancing around the farmhouse.
Seb shoots a look at me and gives me an easy smile. “Of course not, love,” he says, and even though I might be an unwitting accomplice to a crime, I still feel my stomach flutter at that endearment.
“Ye damn sure are!” the man bellows, and okay, maybe I’m actually getting better at the accent because I understood him perfectly.
Today I let my boyfriend pick a page, and he decided on page 173.
“Are you talking to a can?” Captain Bog’s voice bellowed behind him.
Jed looked up. “No.”
“Did it say anything interesting. You sounded pretty sweet and mushy. Were you two getting to know each other? Middle names, favorite colors, that sort of thing?”
“I wasn’t talking to a can.”
Captain Bog rubbed his chin. “Hmmm. Interesting. Either (a) you don’t know what the word talking means or (b) you don’t know what cans are. Because you were holding one, and you were talking to it.”
He prowled the stage like a prize fighter, rolling out one-liners in waves. BANG! That was a belter! WHACK! That one was a killer! POW! That one knocked ’em dead on their feet. The audience was reeling now! Dazed! Their heads were thrown back in laughter! They were out of control! Tears were streaming down their hot, sweaty faces! Snot was bubbling out of their noses! Three of them looked like they were about to choke!
Then – just as the laughter was starting to subside – THWACK! He let rip with another gag – even funnier than the last! SPLAT! BOP! KABOOM!
I let random.org select a page number and it choose page 130!
They entered a large chamber strewn with bales of straw. The earthy smell of alfalfa filled the room. Stagnant water pooled in various parts of the uneven floor. Dust swirled through beams of light that came in through holes in the thatched roof. There were candles lit along the walls and strange items strewn randomly about. A hand mirror. A spindle. Several rusted knitting needles. A leather purse. It looked to be more rubbish room than classroom.