MARTINA GREEN: We’re hearing a clip of AD Massey from Channel Four news, which aired on the night of January seventh. That’s right, listeners. The police actually think Zoe Spanos attempted to motorboat across the Atlantic to the Jersey shore, to board a bus to Philadelphia. And that she succeeded.
Maybe it’s possible, for an experienced boater, which Zoe was not. The police have latched onto the fact that Zoe was majoring in marine biology like it’s some kind of proof she was an expert in all things nautical. News flash: College-level research knowledge of the giant squid does not equal experience with boating or aquatic navigation.
You know how you can tell you’re in trouble?
You can tell you’re in trouble when you’re standing in a long line of girls in a basketball gym, getting ready to try out for an eighth-grade club team – an elite-level team, the kind of team you haven’t played on before, the kind of team you really want to play on – and you all of a sudden realize you’re staring straight-on, eye-level at the shoulder blades of the girl in front of you. Which means, as far as you can tell, the girl attacked to those shoulder blades is a good nine or ten inches taller than you.
And that’s right where I was.