“Why is Jesus a Buzz Lightyear?”
Rachel came into the school hall carrying two cups of PG Tips, and a packet of chocolate HobNobs that she’d stolen from the staffroom.
“Purely for my own amusement,” said Jackie, sitting back, feet up on a nursery-school chair as she took three biscuits out of the packet. “And because the arm fell off the normal one and Mrs Norris’s husband is fixing it.” She nodded towards the stage. “The nativity’s good this year, isn’t it?”
Rachel turned to where fourteen five-year-olds had forgotten the words to ‘Away in a Manger’ as they rehearsed. “I’d say it bears a remarkable resemblance to last year’s.”
Jackie did a mock gasp of affront. “Except for the genius addition of the hip hop WyZe men and One Direction’s visit to the manger. I think I will make the school proud.”
“Sweet Pillsbury Doughboy, this is my idea of porn. Keller James sitting before me, praising my baking. If my bakery plan falls apart I know what my next venture will be. Bakery porn. It’ll be nothing but attractive men eating my cookies. The camera will zoom in as their tongues flicker over their lips, sweeping up every last morsel. They’ll probably be shirtless too. I bet I can get subscribers to pay at least four ninety-nine a month for such a service.”