First Chapter First Paragraph Thursday Intros ~ Dating Dracula by Kinsley Adams

All right, boys and girls, listen up, cuz I’m only going to say this once.
When someone says your plan is downright stupid, perk up those ears and start taking notes. Otherwise, you might end up like me, cornered in a filthy alleyway, staring down the business end of a pair of fangs.
Let me back up a moment. Don’t worry, this won’t take long. Fang-face here will just have to wait the few seconds it’ll take me to fill you in. After all, I want you not only to mourn my death, but learn from it as well. Maybe this lesson will save your ass one day.