When we FINALLY got home I went to see Bernard and after a brief chat we decided that tomorrow EVERYTHING will change and I WILL get some actual friends and I WILL get voted to be something and I WILL be a complete success. AND I WILL have free biscuits. Probably. Bernard the guinea pig squeaked her approval and we both went to bed.
Oh God, it’s happening again.
I squeeze my eyes shut to make the dizziness stop. It doesn’t work. I open them again and focus my eyes on my usual seat, like looking at the horizon when you get motion sick on a boat. I steady my feet the best I can and walk into class, navigating the rows of desks like they’re choppy waves. People take their seats around me and I’m caught in a whirlpool, getting dizzier and dizzier, my sea looking farther and farther away and I can’t believe I’m about to pass out in the middle of math.
And here I was thinking math couldn’t get any worse.
“Me too,” I laughed. “Which is saying something for someone who doesn’t really need to breathe.”
He stopped smiling and cocked his head a little to the side. I immediately regretted my words. Stupidly, I’d jerked us out of the moment and back to the topic at hand. I shook my head, furious with myself.
Might as well quit playing around and get it over with, I thought bitterly. I took a deep breath to steady myself and cut right to the chase.
“So, Joshua, here’s the part where you run screaming into the night, right?” I paused to stare around at the clearing, lit up by the overcast daytime sky.